roseanna sunley dick swinging

Firstly, I need to apologize for the recent sexual themes of my posts. With What I Learned About Sales & Marketing From Being a Stripper, Why Are Marketers Trying to Have Sex on the First Date? and now this post, my blog seems to be heading in a rather strange direction.

Even Google Adsense keeps telling me off for my ‘sexual content’!

However, I use these analogies because they are perfect to help explain my points, and we are all grown-ups here (I hope) so please just indulge me one more time.

[Takes a deep breath]

Here goes…

What is a ‘dick swinger’?

So, a dick swinger is exactly what the name suggests: someone who swings their dick – albeit it metaphorically.

Imagine a group of men who are enormously proud of their private packages. So proud that they will happily flop it out at every given opportunity just to show it off.

They are on the lookout for any excuse to swing it around so everyone can marvel at its size, shape, and uniformity.  

Sometimes, you will find several of these people huddled in a circle, all dick swinging as they try to work out whose got the biggest and best. (This behavior is commonly seen at networking events.)

I am, of course, talking about bragging; those that feel the need to get ‘one up’ on their peers.

For example, if your business turned over £1million, their business turned over £10million and they have no problem pointing this out to you. These people swing their dicks about carelessly, not worrying about who they might poke in the eye!

Who can be a dick swinger?

It’s important to note that even though you may not be in possession of the male reproductive parts in question, you can still be a dick swinger.

I am of the female variety but have still been guilty of this behaviour in the past. [Hangs head in shame]

Dick swinging is, after all, a metaphorical phase I use to describe people who are competing with others in a game of one-upmanship.

It is not gender bias.

…but are they good in bed?

Just because someone has a big dick to swing about, that doesn’t automatically make them good in the bedroom.

They may boast about their £10million turnover, whilst at the same time making a meagre (or zero) profit.

Now, don’t get me wrong, size definitely does play a part (sorry to break it to you lads!) but as the popular saying goes, “It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.”

It’s the classic battle of Vanity Vs Sanity. Having a huge house is impressive, but only if you can comfortably afford the mortgage repayments.

Are all big dicks bad?

There’s nothing wrong with someone having a big dick – especially if they have worked their nuts off to get it, they should be proud.

BUT…(and this is a key bit of information)…they don’t need to go shoving it in everyone else’s face. Unless, of course, they’re asked to…

What am I talking about?

Okay, I get it, this is a strange post and you’re probably wondering what the hell I’m going on about. Part of me still can’t believe that I’ve written it, let alone published it on the internet!

A simple explanation is this:

In life, you’re going to come across many dick swingers; people who just have to be that little bit better than you at everything. But just because they have a big dick, that doesn’t mean that they know how to use it!

Be proud of your own accomplishments and don’t compare yourself to others. Looks can be deceiving and what may look great on the outside often isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

The term ‘dick swinger’ may be vulgar and inappropriate, but in the same way public speakers will picture their audiences naked, keep this phrase in mind next time someone metaphorically flop theirs out in front of you and challenges you to a game of ‘whose biggest?’

Roseanna x

P.S. This is probably the weirdest post I’ve ever written.

P.P.S. Don’t take this post too seriously. I’ve been stuck living the lockdown lifestyle for far too long!

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Roseanna
Currently winging my way through life and putting most of it on the internet. This is my personal website where I share my business book reviews, my adventure tips and stories, and my general musings on life as a solo entrepreneur.

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