Here in the UK, we are not guaranteed snowfall every year. And even if we do get some flurries, it doesn’t take long for it to turn into slush at the side of the road.
But on the odd occasion where a white blanket does stick to the ground, you can bet your bottom dollar that I am going to build a snowman.
I don’t care how old I get. Even when I’m 73-years of age and living in a nursing home, you’ll still find me wandering outside to play in the snow.
…probably with a few carers running after me and trying to usher me back inside. Killjoys!
Anyway, for my own future reference, I have decided to record the steps on how to build a snowman just in case my memory fails me in my twilight years.
…that, and I thought it would be a fun post to write.
Step 1 – Decide on the number of body parts
Are you going to have one large body part and a head? Or two large body parts stacked on top of each other and then a head?
Choosing what university to go to, who to marry, and the names of your children are all important decisions, but they pale in comparison to deciding between a two-part snowman or a three-part snowman.
Unless you have restrictions on space or snow, then I recommend you opt for a three-part snowman simply because it’s bigger, and bigger is ALWAYS better.
Step 2 – Roll, roll, and roll
Now comes the “fun” part.
What seems like a harmless bit of snow rolling soon turns into the equivalent of leg day at the gym.
Have you seen those videos of bodybuilders flipping large tractor tyers? That’s nothing compared to rolling a heavy round block of ice.
Here’s what you’re going to do: Bend the knees, lift, and push. Take a deep breath. Bend the knees, lift, and push. Take a deep breath. [Repeat until the snowball gets very hard to move]
Step 3 – Stack ’em
This is the part where you realize that you’ve made your round block of ice too large, and therefore, too damn heavy!
Even if you recruit a helper, trying to lift one body part to place on top of another is the equivalent of the Atlas Stones at World’s Strongest Man.
…I’m not kidding. It’s exactly the same. Google it!
The only difference between the Atlas Stones and my ice ball is that mine is colder and more slippery, which technically, makes it more difficult. [smug face]
Step 4 – Roll again if required (…which it probably will be)
I’ll be honest, step 3 usually results in at least one body part crumbling. But don’t worry, this is why we have step 4.
If half of your snowman’s head fell off, then congratulations, you’re on track!
Now is the time to roll, roll, roll, pat some more snow over the cracks, and roll again.
At this point, you may notice your round body parts are no longer, well, round…
…no bother, the world would be boring if all snowmen were the same shape. Crack on and stack ’em anyway!
Step 5 – Decorate
This step requires you to run through your house (or caring home) in snow-covered wellies looking for old clothes (or someone else’s clothes) to help you finish your masterpiece!
Clothing to look out for includes scarves, gloves, hats, sunglasses, and belts.
When walking back through the kitchen, be sure to grab yourself a carrot. (If you have no carrots then a banana is a suitable alternative, as pictured below.)
Other items you may find handy include stones, sticks, leaves, and even a face mask.
Get resourceful and let your creativity flow.!
Step 6 – Obligatory photoshoot
You need photographic evidence of your masterpiece.
If you don’t take photos for social media then it didn’t really happen.
…and if I’m in my 70’s, I’d probably need a photo to help me remember what I did that day.
Step 7 – Watch it melt over the next few weeks
Stanley the snowman is not one to hang around.
Each time you walk past or look out of the window you’ll notice less of a snowman and more of a snow pile, until eventually, all traces of him would have disappeared.
If only I could get rid of my ex-boyfriends so easily! (I joke)
It’s a gentle reminder that time does not stand still and we will all return to the ground from which we came.
Repeat next year, every year
Each trip we take around the sun is celebrated with a birthday; we’re one year older and one year wiser.
Although we all have to grow up and become responsible adults, I never want to outgrow the simple pleasure of building a snowman.
Time will always flow in one direction, and although our shells may wrinkle and age we should never let the childlike flame that burns in our souls be extinguished.
…especially by some killjoy care assistant trying to stop us from getting pneumonia!
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